Socially Sane

Just like Zakir bhai's Kaksha Gyarvi, lets talk about Kaksha Baarvi . Do you remember those days when after 7 hours of school in dog days, you returned home with a heavy school bag on your shoulders weighing heavier than you but lesser than the expectations from you, then you got fresh-n-up, took out your lunch box which had foil-made spoons in it as your mother forgot to give you one that day from you bag and as soon as you sat down to have lunch , the coaching van's horn sound echoed in the loo and you ran to the balcony and said "Bhaiya bas 5 minute"; you left that half eaten chapati on the plate and wore you shoes in haste to catch the van. As you ran down the stairs you mother shouted "Beta khana toh leja, van mei kha lena" which you ignored and just waved her a bye from the van's window.

Maximum of us were put into coaching in 11th standard, some in 9th standard and even a few in 6th class! We all burnt with the midnight oil to crack that one IIT/NEET exam after 12th. The only purpose of our life seemed to be getting into an IIT or a good government college. The stress, pressure, expectations , anxiety, depression we went through were the elephant in the room and nobody talked about them. While reading the newspaper we would flip that page where a coaching advertisement was printed with all the AIR holders. We longed to search for friends who were in the same boat like us i.e. with the same preparation status , elders who didn't go to IIT but are still earning well and relatives who consoled us "Ho jata h sbka kuch na kuch beta."

Those tests according to which batches were shuffled seemed like a fate's spin wheel game which we could never win at. Those discussions before the exam with the toppers made us lurk with fear but with friends gave us comfort that "Ise bhi kuch nhi aata." The colouring of bubbles in the OMR which felt joyous in 4-5th standard now felt irritating. The after-exam discussion were one which we ignored like our society ignores patriarchy. The period before getting the result was the most tough to pass as we knew we wouldn't score well and unlike Student Of the Year , our Jai Mata Di flukes won't turn into a miracle. Those sheets pinned on the board with the results seemed like a notice from Hitler to the Jews, never in our favour!

Those 15-20 minutes break between continuous 4-5 hours lectures seemed nothing less than heaven on earth. Eating samosa, momos, maggi, etc. felt like we lived our whole life in just those few minutes. No samosa or maggi breaks now can ever feel so fulfilling like those did. The giggles and laughter we shared with our friends made us let slip all the exam tension and the pressure of fulfilling our elders' expectations. No stand-up comedy can make us laugh like those moments did. Abhishek Upmanyu's "Yeh hi baatein toh baad mei yaad aayengi" now hits really hard.

It's not like we didn't do hard work, we did but could never match with the prodigy students. The students whom we called Bookworms and envied them of having the capability of learning all the organic chemistry reactions in a day! We always thought they are not living their lives and will one day die studying only. These were the students who gave answers to questions in a jiffy , whereas we just ended up being confused "Itni jaldi kaise kra?" They were in every teacher's good books and every mediocre student's bad books or even Sath Khoon Maaf books. We sometimes asked for their help but never counted on them as friends, maybe we made them pay for being better than us in studies.

When the classes were finally over and we ran towards our van for getting the shotgun so that we could connect to aux cable and play our favorite playlist. It felt more victorious then getting good marks in weekly tests when all the people in the van liked your music and jammed together. It was like if the person on the shotgun seat had a breakup recently , he would play Arijit Singh's - Channa Mareya and everyone automatically went into a zone where they felt as if they had a breakup , even the ones who had never been in a relationship! And if the DJ of the car is in jolly mood that meant everyone is gonna grove on "Jeene Ke hai Char Din". The same van which felt burden in the afternoon , felt like the most amazing place in the evening.

The nights were the most tough to manage. Returning from coaching and now completing endless practical files, homework, coaching sheets, watching our favorite show, binge watching Sandeep Maheshwari motivation videos and mugging up the periodic table pasted on our room's wall.

Even after going through this 7AM-12PM non stop cycle for 2-4 years when we couldn't clear the IIT/NEET exam, life felt meaningless. We felt as if we had wasted all our parent's earnings, let our teachers and elders down, now we would never get into a good college , life is ruined ; basically we felt we are screwed. Relatives and neighbour aunties rather than asking "How are you?" asked "Result kaisa rha beta?" even after knowing the same already. Incessant taunts from our surrounding brain washed and we were made to believe we have done a huge blunder and now nothing can ever be right in life .We felt as if we didn't fail an exam but our whole life! The constant sad faces of our parents made us even have suicidal thoughts. It's a bit typical but yes, only our pillow knows how many tears have rolled down our eyes in those torturous times.

We eventually somehow managed to get into a respectable private college which we initially thought as hell but now feels like Second Home! It's truly said by Jeetu Bhaiya in Kota Factory-"Bache kota se nikal jate hai, kota bacho se kbhi nhi nikalta"; in the same way the coaching is now imbibed in all of us and we sometimes even feel lost among people who aren't same as us. We still try to study for long hours as we did a few years back , we still feel we couldn't fulfil our own expectations , we still feel we are a burden on our family, we still feel our life is ruined!

But like Zakir Bhaiya said-

"Aisa zaroori thodi hai ki jo pathar tm maaro usse aam toote hi toote,

aakhir kuch koshishein tyari ke liye bhi hoti hai.

Dil chota nhi karte bhole, koi baat nahi, fir khade hongey , fir ladengey. "

It was the month of October in the late 70s, the wind blew softly, the leaves had just started falling from the trees, their rustling sound was tingling in my ears. As I walked towards my home, I could hear the ladies' giggles in the air, they were sitting in the backyard gossiping about their husbands. The cows were mooing and my younger brother was fetching milk from them. I went inside and saw my mother making rotis on the chulah. The fire entangled with the wood was lightening the sky, I could see my mother sweating, she wiped her sweat off with her dupatta and coughed a bit; her face was glowing more than the fire now. I adored her for several minutes; She smiled at me and her eyes twinkled, she said: "Ashok, do you want something ?"

I came back to the world of reality from my world where I was so engrossed in adoring my mother and replied

" Oh yes, Baba, where is Baba?"

She chuckled, "He had gone to Sudhir's house in the afternoon, he must be on his way back now ."

Sudhir was my maternal uncle and my Baba was blind but he refused to sit at home and used to go out with a long wooden stick and black goggles to meet people.

Now the moon's light had overthrown the sunlight and it was a dark sky; Baba had still not returned. We didn't have a clock back then, but it was around 10 P.M.

I went out and started searching for him, there was a small tea stall in front of my house made of wood and hay. I went to the stall, and searched for the owner, he was closing the lid of his biscuit box, I asked him about Baba, he left the box in haste and few biscuits fell on the ground "Baba hasn't returned?" he asked shockingly.

I replied in despair "No Chacha."

The news of Baba not returning soon spread like the fire in the chulha. That night seemed longer than other nights, everyone was worried but was helpless as there was no telephone and we couldn't visit my uncle until dawn.

A few tears came off my eyes as I remembered my Baba's habit of staring at the stars at night and telling amazing stories about them. The next morning I went to the river close to my house, I stood there and noticed the wave coming and returning but leaving some drops in my feet, the drops waited there in the hope of the wave coming back and taking them along with it. My Baba also didn't return like that wave and I was still waiting for him like the drops.

I went to my uncle's house with my younger brother. His village was 10 kilometers away, and it was a bit cold; we wore our shawls and began the journey.

Our hearts were full of pain and many unanswered questions, but our lips froze when we tried to speak. The chilly breeze was giving us goosebumps, and our eyes were becoming sore because of it. We reached my uncle's house, but our Baba was still nowhere to be found. My uncle told me, Baba didn't come to meet him yesterday, my brother and I looked at each other in shock and I could see him hiding his tears with the cup of tea in his hands.

We returned, and today the wind seemed harsh than soft, leaves rustling sound seemed annoying than peaceful and there were no giggles to be heard. Everything seemed changed and horrifying. We did all that we could to find Baba but failed.

Today, I am an Ophthalmologist in Delhi and have taken a holiday to visit my village. As I am reaching nearer to my home, I can feel the wind blowing softly, hear the birds chirping melodiously and see the leaves leaving their parent tree and falling into a new life. I can hear the same ladies' giggles in the air, but their faces have changed. The cows are mooning, but now we have a machine to fetch their milk. In the kitchen, my wife is making rotis on a gas stove, and I am adoring her like I adored my mother. Everything has changed but now it's peaceful.

I am going to the river, to see if the drops are still waiting for the wave to return.

Yes!! they are. Just like them; Baba, I am still waiting.

I wish you could see me become a doctor as you always dreamt of, and I could cure your eyes and you could see the stars again with me !!

BASED ON TRUE EVENTS

"Who is she mumma?"a 5-year old asked her mother pointing at a photo in the family album.
"She is your elder sister Tara." her mother replied calmly.
"Where is she now ?" the baby asked curiously.
"God took her away with him." and a tear dropped from the mother's eye.
"But why did he take her mumma ?" the cute little girl held her mother's hand.
"Your sister's both the kidneys were in a really poor state , we gave her the best medication but she couldn't recover . God couldn't see her in so much pain so he took her away ."
"Did you cry when she left you?"she looked into her mother's eyes.
"A lot! "
"And dadda?"
"No, he was not allowed to ."
"But why mumma?"

"Let me tell you a story

When he was born , everyone rejoiced and shouted "Woah Hoo, It's a boy !!"

When he turned two and cried for toys , his mother told him "Oh ho, Don't cry you are a boy !!"

When he grew 5, his father took him for swimming , but he was scared so his father laughed and said "Haha!! Don'be scared like a girl , you are a boy. "

When he became 10 yrs old , he fell from his cycle and started crying and his granny told him "Sshhh!! be strong , you are a boy. "

When he turned 16 he proposed his crush , but she rejected him , and on seeing him cry his friend told him"Aah!! Don't cry over a girl , you are a boy. "

When he grew 23 and lost his father , his grandpa told him "Oh dear! you will have to look after the family , you are a man now .""

When he became 27 and I proposed him , he became emotional and I mocked him "Aah! love , I don't want to marry a crying baby, be a man . "

When he grew 31, he became a father and all the relatives told him "Congratulations!! Take care of your family properly , be a man ."

When he grew old and became 40 , he lost his daughter Tara , but he didn't cry , didn't get emotional , took care of me ,didn't share his problems , tried his best to fit in the definition of "MAN" ; but the pain of losing his daughter made him hollow from inside and he had a brain hemorrhage and he went into coma ."

"Mumma , is this dadaa's story?" the small baby asked while wiping her mother's teary eyes.

"It's the story of every boy in this world. " her mother replied .

"Did dadda ever cry ?"

"Yes! When he saw you for the first time !"

The little girl ran to the hall and hugged her father and said "Dadda , DON'T BE A MAN , JUST BE YOURSELF !!"

The police dug around the lawn the whole evening , and they found some tablets hidden inside the flower pots.

The old man came running towards the lawn and before he could ask anything , the police officer's phone rang , it was Dr. Ahuja on the other side "I am not sure if this information will be of any use , but Bruno's reports state that Bruno had eaten sleeping pill Ambien by mistake which caused the vomiting."

The police officer looked at the tablets in his hands and gave his side grin . The police rushed to the police station and on reaching they were informed that Tanvi's post-mortem reports had finally arrived .

It clearly stated that she was already been dead before her wrist was cut and samples of Zolpidem Tartrate were found in her blood .

In few hours , police was successful in joining all the dots and finally arrested the old man .

" Why did you kill your own granddaughter?"the police man asked in anger.

" Haha! It took you so long. I killed her for the same reason for which I killed my son and daughter- in law."

The policeman was shocked " You killed them ? How did you kill Tanvi? "

The old man looked straight into the policeman's eyes and said " I locked her up in the bathroom for two days and reported her fake missing complaint ,I knew you wouldn't come for help . I overdosed her with Ambien 2500 mg which caused her death and then took her body to her bed and cut her wrist , so that it looks like a suicide. "

" What if the post -mortem reports had came early ?" the police officer asked raising his left eyebrow .

" I would have told you that she was taking sleeping pills as she was depressed because of her breakup with Vihaan. If that f*****g Bruno didn't eat the pills hidden in the pots , you would have never found the real murderer." he laughed an evil laugh.

"This is disgusting ,and how did you kill your son and daughter-in law ?"

" Ah ! That was simple! Just failed their car's brake when they were going out to celebrate their anniversary." he said without any regret.

" Oh Lord ! Why would you do that ?" the police officer cried.

" Why would I do that ? Why did the society do that to me ? When Prerna died , I went into the blues and severe dejection dispirited me. The society even pilloried me instead of supporting. My health has worsened to a level that I started hallucinating Prerna. . And you know for this society “Hallucination” is synonymical to “MAD”. In all these years I unraveled that "FOREVER" of a relationship doesn't exist . One of the companion leaves and the other one gets depressed and sad. My son and daughter-in law were a buoyant couple , but I postulated that sooner or later either of them would die and other would be in grieve sorrow just like their wrinkly elder, and will rickety mentally and society would laugh on them, so to protect them from this endurance , I had to kill them.

Moreover even Tanvi was falling in love with Vihaan , I tried to convince her that no alliance , no bond, no tie-up is perpetual, but she didn't understand and used to say " We won't ever be separated ! " but some separations aren't in our hands .

Are you still thinking who the anonymous letter sender was ?

Haha!

THE END .

On seeing Vihaan the old man cried " Vihaan! see what has Tanvi done; she has left us all alone. "

" You have to come with us to the police station Mr. Vihaan" the police officer said.

" Why? I haven't done anything! I got to know all of this when your officer came to my home ." Vihaan lashed out at the police officer.

"You will get all your answers sir, but you will have to come with us for that."

The police took Vihaan to the police station and now the old man and Tanvi's dog Bruno were left alone at home.

" Why did you break up with her?"

Vihaan was staggered, " Breakup? We rarely fought, why would we breakup? "

"Did you both run away two days ago?"

" What rubbish sir, why will we? We both are just in 12th standard, and I have been trying to call her for the last three days, her phone is switched off."

" Why didn't you go and see her then?" the police officer asked raising his left eyebrow.

"There is lockdown because of Coronavirus, how could I go and see her ?" Vihaan said bluntly.

" How was her grandfather with you both?"

" He is a very good man sir; he knew about our relationship and even supported us, just the colony people used to call him mad unnecessarily."

"Mad! but why?" the police officer asked curiously.

" I don't know sir " he exclaimed.

" Okay just don't go out of the town, we will be watching you."

" Sure sir. "

Ten days had passed and the police weren't getting any leads as the post -mortem report was delayed because of the lockdown. The police were on the verge of closing the case when they got an anonymous letter stating "HE KILLED HER!!"

The police got worried and started investigating the neighbors and close friends.

On asking about the old man from Dr. Ahuja who was their neighbor and a veterinary doctor, the whole story got twisted.

" He is a very good man sir, I have known him for 25 years. He loved his wife and son a lot, but after Prerna's death, he went into depression and a massive shock. Doctors recommended him to see a therapist but his son laughed "What will the people say? That my father has gone mad! He won't go anywhere." His health got worse and he started hallucinating Prerna. He talks to himself for hours and when someone asks, he says" Don't disturb!! Can't you see Prerna and I are talking ?" said Dr.Ahuja

The police were just leaving when Mamta came running, " Doctor!! Bruno has been vomiting since morning, he was playing in the lawn and I guess he has eaten something wrong."

Dr. Ahuja said, " Sorry sir, I have to take Bruno to the clinic immediately !!"

The head police officer said, " It's okay, inform us if there is something important."

Again an anonymous letter came to the police station which stated "IT'S IN THE LAWN."

TO BE CONTINUED...

"My grand-daughter Tanvi is missing , please find her ,please!!" an old man cried on the phone . On the other side of the phone was the police who replied "Don't worry sir,hold yourself please ; can you tell us for how long is she missing ? " , the old man in his trembling voice replied "She went to buy some groceries this morning and hasn't returned since then ." The head police officer said " She must have gone somewhere else , don't worry , we can't file the missing complain before 24 hours." An officer interrupted their conversation and mocked " She must have ran away with her lover sir , teenage girls do so." The old man got angry " Are you mad?, I will call you after 24 hours " and
hanged up. After 2 days the old man called the police again " Tanvi has returned sir , but she is reacting weird and not talking to anyone. " The police officer laughed and replied "Her boyfriend must have left her, that's why she has returned , relax she will be okay" . The next morning the house keeper Mamta was mopping Tanvi's room when she saw blood , she shouted " Saheb! Blood, Blood!" she tried to wake Tanvi up but she was dead. In the afternoon the police visited the old man's house . " I told you , she was not acting normally, you didn't help me ,now she has left us forever. " the old man cried badly. The head police officer replied" We aren't psychiatrists sir , how could we know that she was suicidal ." The mocking police officer said "She has committed suicide because of her lover , we should catch him sir." The old man cried his eyes out , the police and Mamta consoled him. Police started their investigation " We know sir it's not a very good time for you but we have to ask you some questions. "

" It's okay sir , you can ask " the old man said wiping his tears.

"How long has she been living with you ? And where are her parents?"

" They died in a road accident when Tanvi was just 2 years old ,she has been living with me since then . I tried my best to give her all the love and support , I don't know why she took this big step" he cried.

" Hold yourself sir ! Where is your wife ? " the police officer asked.

" She also passed away because of cancer . Prerna was a very loving and beautiful woman ,she died before Tanvi was even born "

" Did Tanvi have a boyfriend or any close friend?"

" Yes , Vihaan from her school, they were good friends."

"Okay sir "

The head was just going to ask the next question when a constable interrupted him "We have found her boyfriend sir!!"

TO BE CONTINUED...

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